Friday, December 27, 2013

Itaipava Pilsen - Brasil - 20/12/2013

The low down:
I've often heard the term ‘bottling up ones emotions’. I wasn't sure what it meant until I was unlucky enough to drink this abomination. This alleged pilsner is bottled revulsion.

When chilled it doesn't taste cold, instead it tastes chemical and of something I can only assume is grave dirt. I imagine if I poured it into a glass it might fluoresce.

I'm struggling to describe it. It's… bad. It's outright offensive to drink. I almost didn't want to finish it and I would finish a Tooheys New.

Packaging: 4/10
It’s not a terrible label/bottle but I now associate it with heinousness.
Refreshment: 2/10
It was really hot and this did not help.
Flavour 1/10:
That’s right, a 1 for flavour. It did remotely taste of beer which tipped this rating over to 1 by an iota.
Alcohol Content: 4/10
4.5%. It’s even low for a pilsner.
Price: 1/10
$6 Yes, you have to pay for this.
Total: 12/50

Don’t do it. The only excuse is if you find it for free at a corporate event and down it as a rapid solution to dealing with people who you find offensive, and only if they are more offensive than the beer.