Monday, June 9, 2014

El Loco Cerveza Especial - Guatemala - 4/6/14

The low down: 
El Loco or "The Crazy" describes the kind of person who pays for this. I have made a terrible mistake.

Think of beer post mix and how that might taste, then assume the pump is broken, and you are only getting half syrup. This really is abysmal.

Guatemala needs to stick to coffee of which it is a world leader. Better yet, let's get them into making mocha porters, or oatmeal stouts, or anything other than terrible lager. Some people may think I hate pale lager, but that isn't true at all. I think it's just the case that they let anyone who can string three words together make lager, and the gene pool is diluted.

Packaging: 8/10
Despite sucking at almost everything else, I love the bottle.
Refreshment: 2/10
Sticky mouth feel does not make this a session-able drink
Flavour 2/10
There is some there, but it is washed away by the broken post mix machine.
Alcohol Content: 3/10
4.6% even this is disappointing.
Price: 2/10
$8.60. Cheaper than a cinema Slurpee I guess?
Total: 17/50

Saved by product design. If you ever end up in Guatemala, put rum in iced coffee, and then drink that. This beer is best served with a whole chicken, so you can fashion a shiv out of the bones and stab the store owner who sold it to you.