Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Bell Lager - Uganda - 11/6/14

The low down: 
Things I know about Uganda: 1. The most oppressive legislation against homosexuals in the world, 2. A really pretty lake, 3. Kony's child army. I mean I also know it's in Central Africa and makes Bell Lager.

Bell Lager is the very definition of inoffensive. It has a light malty caramel taste but apart from that I can't pick a single thing. I cant even taste the hops. The Bottle has embossing that touts "BEER ONLY" which is probably Alanis Morisette levels of Ironic, because it doesn't really taste like beer.

Yes I am aware that most of the lyrics from that song refer more to happenstance and coincidence than irony.

Packaging: 8/10
Not super impressed, but BEER ONLY pushes the score up a little
Refreshment: 10/10
NO arguing with this, you could drink it on a plane, you could drink it with your brain.
Flavour 4/10
Super mild caramelish malt, and then? No and then!
Alcohol Content: 4/10
4% pretty much explains why it tastes like nothing.
Price: 4/10
$10.50 for a 500. It's not horrible, in that it's a reasonable import.
Total: 30/50

Uganda is pretty much the poorest country that exists. Over a third of their population could not afford this beer working a 7 day week and it certainly isn't good enough to warrant that expense. However as an accompaniment to some First Street boneless hot-wings, it was spectacular.