Al Ahram - Meister Max - 17-06-19 - Egypt

 

 

 The low down:

This one has been sitting in a folder on my computer for 5 years. Then I remembered I post to this blog. The pandemic put a damper on travel, shipping and things to do, but this beer was so forgettable that even being trapped inside for the best part of a year, I didn't get around to it, and then I just forgot. I'm only here now as I'm cleaning up some folders and came across it. My notes say "Strong lager with some cereal aromas, surprising bitterness for macro, surprisingly fresh. Good for North Africa." Now, Egypt has been in the beer game for a very long time... and despite that, they haven't mastered it. You would think, with predynastic brewing evidence that's 6-7 thousand years old, they would have a foot up on the rest of the world. Sadly, that just isn't the case.

 

Packaging: 4/10
The brand relies heavily on the MAX to sell, I think.
Refreshment: 6/10
an 8% macro lager, I imagine you might move to the lighter version in the heat.
Flavour 6/10
Fresh and bitter despite the 8%.
Alcohol Content: 9/10
8% lagers need to be more prevalent. Balances out that big fresh flavour with some body, there's nothing worse than water with my hops!
Price: 3/10
Around 14 dollars, at a restaurant. This economy is a shambles.
Total: 28/50

Conclusion:
It's getting harder to justify some of these ticks, Especially with the access to incredible craft that I have been privy too across the past 10 or so years, and yet I will persist. Much like Egypt, I suspect. This beer is better than average for the region and great with a nice North African or middle eastern meal. I drank it on my birthday with a metric boat load of hummus and flat breads, and it was well-matched. Something creamy to cut the booze and something carb filled to cut the hangover.

Cheers.

Brasseurs de la GBNC - Number 1 Pale Lager - 30-08-18 - New Caledonia

The low down:

Firstly thanks to Teena who braved a week at sea, the roiling ocean, and sea sick tourists to bring me this wonderful addition to the country ticks. This is allegedly the 8th best beer from New Caledonia, and while that may seem to set it up for failure, there's actually a lot of good in this beverage beyond the usual pacific style lager. I started my work on this article with the usual research about New Caledonia and the first picture on their Wikipedia page is of two men with Koteka, or Penis Gourds. I'll let you google that for yourself; sufice to say, it is exactly what it sounds like. Moving on, there's no way any factoid I come up with can beat that so let's get into the beer review.

Packaging: 5/10
You gotta have serious chops to call your beer Number 1.
Refreshment: 6/10
It's super crisp for a macro pale lager. would be a treat in the heat.
Flavour 3/10
Fairly subtle, hop bitterness is there but it is short on much else.
Alcohol Content: 5/10
5% fairly standard for the style, maybe even a little higher than usual.
Price: 6/10
Around 3-4 dollars, so not as cheap as South East Asia but still pretty great, I can't imagine GBNC has massive production.
Total: 25/50

Conclusion: 
There is a slight syrupiness, but this is otherwise a fairly serviceable beer. I imagine it's great with the local French take on seafood you get in Polynesia and surrounds, but ain't nobody got time for that on a Thursday evening in August. Tonight I served it with a brioche ham and pineapple pizza pull-apart that I invented in the supermarket after an incredibly long day at work. Brioche makes it French I guess? Maybe I'll upgrade the next one to surf and turf, or super supreme!

Cheers.

Taedonggang Brewing Company - Number 2 Pilsner - 30-05-18 - North Korea

The Low down:
It's an interesting time in North Korean politics. You can probably google where this insane set up came from and how it plays into the international brewing scene. This beer is the equivalent of Doctor Strange's battle with Dormumamu, mainly because nobody wins.

DORMUMAMU I'VE COME TO BARGAIN.

I was lucky enough to grab this from my friend Scott, who has visited the state. When the government controls ALL of the means of production, and we are at such a unique and interesting place in the socioeconomic development of North Korea, I feel bad shitting on their brewing capability. And yet, I must.

Packaging: 2/10
It's a beer bottle, not sure how well it conveys its style.
Refreshment: 1/10
It's a fail on refreshment. It is upsetting at best, and a disaster at worst.
Flavour 1/10
There is not a flavour to speak of, other than a weak saturated ricey, corny mess.
Alcohol Content: 3/10
5% but tastes like a chewy, very faulty mess. there is a sadness inside, that I can't describe.
Price: 8/10
Look, it is free today, but I've traded it for a beautiful future opportunity for beer. I don't doubt it will be worth it in the long run, but it is a disaster at any price.
Total: 15/50

It's not good. It is disappointing in all the right ways. It's something that I would love to stop my populace from drinking if I had god-like dictatorial capabilities. I do not. The main cuisine of North Korea seems to be fresh cut grass and human feces, and I doubt that would match this rice lager well, ostensibly I doubt it would match anything well. The beer goes with anything tangy, mostly due to its inability to taste like anything good.

Drink it with spicy pork and rice. No selection is a winner, but they can't all be losers.

Cheers.

Okult Ginger Rousse - Luxembourg - 13-09-17

The low down: 
Firstly, Luxembourg is pretty damn rad. Pretty much everyone has conquered and occupied this area over the past 500 years. From a beer perspective this is great news. We had a lot of crazy beer in Luxembourg, my gout-ridden friend Sean came out with me every night to a new bar to sample their delights. I chose this one because it's mental. Imagine you have arrived 3 hours ago, been for a traditional French meal and then found the nearest craft bar, right before explosions of fireworks lit up the tiny city sky. This was my first night in Luxembourg, and the beer is a perfect allegory.

Packaging: 5/10
I have no true feelings about this. It's ..... fine.
Refreshment: 8/10
Citrus is on the money, ginger brings up the middle and while there's a bit of an aluminium tang, it does most things well.
Flavour 9/10
Some cinnamon, some herbs and a fair chunk of roastiness. There's a lot going on.
Alcohol Content: 5/10
5%, which is either good or bad based on the rest of the beers I tried.
Price: 6/10
$13 (well 8 Euros, at Konrad) it's pretty good by Luxembourg standards, but Luxembourg is not a fiscally sustainable place to drink craft beer en masse.
Total: 33/50

I am Convinced Sean can't camera. (this is a different beer)

I did not take enough photos of beer on this trip, or of this beer. there was an insane celebration in Luxembourg the night we arrived with all sorts of exciting displays lighting up the sky. We visited a traditional French Rotisserie and Restaurant; Goethe Stuff (Les Espaces Saveurs) and think this beer would have sat spectacularly beside the Pièce du Boucher.
Cheers.

Liechtensteiner Hells Spezialbier Munchner art - 9-9-17 - Liechtenstein

The low down: 
Liechtenstein is really cool! A tiny city in a tiny country with a castle you cannot visit. I had this with Lunch in a nice little hotel restaurant as rain spittled down from the dark skies in 10 degree September. We came by train from Switzerland and the scenery was enough to send you blind; Which is a good thing too as the rough tail end of fusal alcohol in this little gem might have otherwise accomplished the job shortly after. It's a bit of skunky esters, a bit of green matter, and a lot mediocre Munich style lager. It will do for a tick.

Packaging: 6/10
Brand is appealing, I love good font work.
Refreshment: 4/10
I don't know that a Munich style beer was what I needed in the pouring rain, thought this may be more effective in July.
Flavour 4/10
Look it's there, it's just overpowered by the usual things in a micro brewed Helles, primarily missing that crisp finish.
Alcohol Content: 4/10
5.0% flat so not really anything special.
Price: 2/10
$9.00 And just not worth it beyond the country tick.
Total: 20/50

I really wanted to visit the brewery, but they opened late, are out of the main town, and there is no Uber in Leichtenstein. To that end I expect that IPAs and stouts may have been more my speed, but expediting the country tick has let me down. Eat this with Spatzel, it's cheese noodles with cheese sauce, and we know how I feel about cheese.
Cheers.

Latitud Cero Helles Export Lager - 2-5-17 - Ecuador

The Low Down: 
Latitude Zero; Middle of the world; I bet it gets hot there. This makes the production of exceptional lagers an effort in engineering and refrigeration. This brew comes courtesy of a project manager at my work, who recently took the trip to Ecuador exclusively to get me one of these beers*. I was terribly disappointed that it is brewed in Cuenca instead of somewhere actually on the equator but I guess it's pretty close, and it's still really warm. The beer is fruity as hell with lots of stone fruit esters which I can only attribute to the climate. Balanced hops are great in lagers, more breweries need this.

*My benefactor had legitimate real world reasons (I think).

Packaging: 8/10
I love this, from the embossing on the bottle to the colour scheme across the range, and the Spanish that I cannot read.
Refreshment: 6/10
It really is refreshing, like a tropical lager but with more stone fruit.
Flavour 8/10
Did I mention stone fruit? Because I don't feel like I mentioned it enough, it is really like a peach. I could eat a peach for hours.
Alcohol Content: 6/10
5.3% And well concealed by the grain bill and hops or maybe also the yeast esters?
Price: 9/10
$2.20 US Dollars. This is from a calculation on the website and is already a great deal. My deal was better.
Total: 37/50

Conclusion:
I liked this beer, it was more stone fruit than I have had in a lager, ever. This made it feel like much more than a simple helles. I've never been to Ecuador, but as part of my research for this article I discovered llapingachos, which are literally cheese stuffed hash browns served with satay sauce. I don't even know what life is for anymore.
Cheers

Khar Khorum Munich Dunkel - 17-8-2016 - Mongolia

The Low Down: 
First let me say the Blue Sky Tower with a Filipino cover band playing all the tracks that you love is a great place to experience the commercial beer of Mongolia. Model included for the glory of Chinggis Khan. We later visited the Chinggis Khan brewery, drank the salt tea and ate all of the trimmings and still this first night in Ulaanbaatar was hard to beat (although, horse riding across the steppe was literally like something from a movie). This beer was pretty damn good for a country I was scared would force me to survive solely on fermented horse milk.

Packaging: 7/10
Silver foil all up in there, pretty classy bottle.
Refreshment: 6/10
It will do. It's certainly better than salted milk tea
Flavour 7/10
Actually a lot. It's really grainy with a little bit of biscuit and char.
Alcohol Content: 4/10
5.3% It does feel like it could do with a touch more. It is still respectable for a commercial drop.
Price: 5/10
$6.00. I thought Mongolia would be cheaper, but this was in the roof lounge.
Total: 29/50

Conclusion:
KaraKorum was the capital of Mongolia between 1235 and 1260 when the great Khan and his horde dominated much of the known world. Khuushuur is a mince dumpling that is fricken delicious (probably my favorite Mongolian food) and is well matched to the dark Munich style of the beer. It's actually weird that they even understand hops and grain, especially since all major empires are agricultural, unless you're the Mongols
Cheers

Maxima Optima Linya "beer" - 15-8-2016 - Belarus

The Low Down: 
The screen cap above should go a fair way towards describing the difficulty I had finding this stuff. It's a screen cap from Google translate, in a supermarket in Vilnius, Lithuania, where I scanned every product for country of origin until I found this beauty. Oh what a beauty it is! The style is beer, which is hilarious in and of itself, but I can best describe it as fizzy sadness. We couldn't get guaranteed visas for Belarus, but the beer scene in Lithuania was off the hook so I'm not really that disappointed.

Packaging: 2/10
1L orange and white PET bottle with supermarket branding. It'll do.
Refreshment: 0/10
It is about as refreshing as soda water, but with a weird metallic after-taste that makes my lips and mouth and insides and eyes and emotions burn.
Flavour 0/10
A literal zero, apart from the acidic burny flavour which should be negative points if I am honest.
Alcohol Content: 4/10
5%. It's OK in 1L bottles I guess?
Price: 3/10
1 Euro for a litre, and yet that still feels over-priced.
Total: 9/50

Conclusion:
I drank this from the bottle, shirtless in a Riga hotel while my travelling buddy slept nearby. I had a hangover from drinking a bunch of Latvian craft beer and Riga Balsamic and had a flight 12 hours later to Moscow. I was later assured that this was only drunk by vagrants, university students and "confused tourists", though I'm not sure which I was being compared to. Drink this with a shot of Riga Balsamic; even the herbal medicine bomb improves this rubbish.
Cheers

Babylon Craft (and Vape Bar) - BV IPA - 30-7-2016 - Kazahkstan

Firstly, new layout. This is mainly due to the laziness setting in; maintaining the left right left structure on a default blogspot is serious business. This is more mobile friendly and easier. Now, to the beer.

The Low Down: 
For the 3 days in Almaty we visited a lot of different bars. Most of the beer is Russian export lagers, the occasional heffeweizen and the very very rare anything else. What a discovery to find Babylon Craft. This bar was great and the IPA was exceptional. They also had a kriek and a lager and a weiss beer, but the IPA was special. The weirdest thing was that it was also a vape bar. Also have you eaten chechil? It's cheese, string cheese, kind of like mozzarella that is smoked. Chechil is the best beer food that exists, and it is everywhere in Kazakhstan. As for the beer, this is all hops all the way down. it is juicy and floral and packed with flavour.

Packaging: 7/10
So there's no packaging, it's all tap, but they have a PET bottle squealer fill system where the bottle screws straight into the tap! Innovation.
Refreshment: 9/10
Outstanding. After a couple of days of stale export lager this made me weep.
Flavour 8/10
This had all the right hops in sufficiently judicial applications.
Alcohol Content: 10/10
7.5%, which is phenomenal since we hadn't seen a beer in Almaty with more than 6%.
Price: 9/10
$4.00. The Most expensive beer we bought in the whole country.
Total: 43/50

Conclusion:
I mean, Kazahkstan probably isn't on too many people's list for beer and cheese tourism, but I urge you to reconsider. With the exception of the horse meat parasite we probably picked up and carried all over Europe for the next 3 weeks it was a culinary adventure worthy of song. Drink this beer with literal buckets of Chechil. Cheese is life.
Cheers

Rocquette XC Exceptional Cider - Guernsey - 28-7-15

The Low down:
OK, OK, I know this is kind of cheating, but I couldn't find a beer brewed in Guernsey for the life of me, and as I got on the ferry to France, this was behind the bar. So in the interest of completeness I decided to give it a whirl.

Its actually quite drinkable, in an 10:30 AM on a boat bouncing around in the ocean kind of way, It tastes of caramel, apples and just a hint of something I can only think of as the flavour of Champagne.

And boy is it carbonated like Champagne, I'm pretty sure opening a bottle of this is considered an act of eco-terrorism with the amount of CO2 it releases into the atmosphere.

XC apparently stands for Exceptional Cider, but exceptional is spelled with an E. Pretty sure Guernsey is part of the U.K. which invented English, try and get it right.




Packaging: 7/10
looks good, bonus points for the Best before on the lid.
Refreshment: 7/10
Cider is by definition refreshing, unless you get that scrumpy stuff. This one is just above par.
Flavour 7/10
the brutal carbonation detracts somewhat from the enjoyment, but it still tastes pretty good.
Alcohol Content: 5/10
4.5% which is a little more than your Swedish sugar waters, and a little less than your craft ciders.
Price: 5/10
$10.00 On a boat in the middle of the English Channel seems reasonable.
Total: 31/50





Not Pictured, girlfriend asleep on chair next to me because it was still pretty much the morning. The boat flopped about in the pretty big winds but we made it to France safe, where we found a good patisserie with amazing chaussons aux pommes, because it's probably worth comparing apples to apples.
Cheers.