Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Maxima Optima Linya "beer" - 15-8-2016 - Belarus

The Low Down: 
The screen cap above should go a fair way towards describing the difficulty I had finding this stuff. It's a screen cap from Google translate, in a supermarket in Vilnius, Lithuania, where I scanned every product for country of origin until I found this beauty. Oh what a beauty it is! The style is beer, which is hilarious in and of itself, but I can best describe it as fizzy sadness. We couldn't get guaranteed visas for Belarus, but the beer scene in Lithuania was off the hook so I'm not really that disappointed.

Packaging: 2/10
1L orange and white PET bottle with supermarket branding. It'll do.
Refreshment: 0/10
It is about as refreshing as soda water, but with a weird metallic after-taste that makes my lips and mouth and insides and eyes and emotions burn.
Flavour 0/10
A literal zero, apart from the acidic burny flavour which should be negative points if I am honest.
Alcohol Content: 4/10
5%. It's OK in 1L bottles I guess?
Price: 3/10
1 Euro for a litre, and yet that still feels over-priced.
Total: 9/50

I drank this from the bottle, shirtless in a Riga hotel while my travelling buddy slept nearby. I had a hangover from drinking a bunch of Latvian craft beer and Riga Balsamic and had a flight 12 hours later to Moscow. I was later assured that this was only drunk by vagrants, university students and "confused tourists", though I'm not sure which I was being compared to. Drink this with a shot of Riga Balsamic; even the herbal medicine bomb improves this rubbish.